When I have to force myself to stop painting

To create, for me, is to enter into a spiritual door, the opening to that world where I am free to expand, explore, fly.  There isn't a moment that I am not in ecstasy when a brush is in my hand and a blank canvas is waiting to carry the colors that seem to appear in the air like music waiting for expression. As I paint, I hear the colors, and I am lost in a world of symphony that spirals into a vast space without end. Sometimes, when I am feeling too unattached from this physical world, I listen to music to keep me grounded. Those are the days I am tired or feeling the stress of everyday logical existence, and my ability to return to a solid mental place is hindered-my desire to fly is strong. When I have these days, I paint and paint, and soar and soar, and intuitively place marks on surface that map my journey. Last night was a night of swilling traveling. My music was early 70's. The songs wove memories into a design that melded with pictures of my new explorations. The result was quite interesting. This morning I was greeted with a hundred paintings on one small canvas. I had to eliminate the excess energy. I painted with silence today and removed much of the composition.  Now finished,  I stop for the evening to remind myself that I am an artist who is open to so many forces, that I need to prepare myself before launching myself away.  There is a responsibility in letting creativity have its full rein, and even though the intuition is the stream I ride, I am the one that steers. And so it goes. I take note, and I will be a little more careful this week as I begin to paint really large! I am excited about bringing more to this present state, but I want to make sure that when I paint, that it is me doing the brush work and not notes from an album playing havoc with my gift. I desire to bring new light to this world, not the warm burn of my personal past memories. I am not painting a diary, after all. I am painting infinity, the brightness there, the hope in all the universe that I want to present to the viewer as an artist who wishes to share the goodness that I find.